Children and young people who develop harmful sexual behaviour harm themselves and others. The majority of young people who show harmful sexual behaviour don’t go on to become adult sex offenders. But research suggests there are some young people with sexual behaviour problems who are at high risk of doing so (Hackett, 2006). So it’s vital that both child and family get appropriate support as early as possible. Early action can help to prevent abuse.

What is harmful sexual behaviour?

• Using sexually explicit words and phrases
• Technology assisted behaviour including taking, sharing or downloading indecent images of children.
• Inappropriate touching
• Using sexual violence or threats
• Full penetrative sex with other children or adults casually and outside of a relationship.

Children under the age of 13 can not lawfully consent to sexual activity. Such cases should be discussed with a nominated child safeguarding lead and referred to the Medway Children’s Advice and Duty service.

Why do children develop harmful sexual behaviour?

Sexually harmful behaviour by children and young people ranges from experimentation that unintentionally goes too far, through to serious sexual assault.

Research suggests that children and young people who develop harmful sexual behaviour have usually experienced abuse and neglect themselves. One study suggested that two thirds had experienced some kind of abuse or trauma such as; physical/emotional/sexual abuse, severe neglect, parental rejection, family breakdown, domestic abuse/violence, parental drug and alcohol abuse. Around half of those young people had experienced sexual abuse.

Children who have been sexually abused may not know that what has happened to them is wrong and this can lead to normalisation of harmful sexual behaviour towards others.

In the vast majority of cases, children abuse someone they know (Hackett et al, 2013). Children and young people who abuse their brothers or sisters may be motivated by jealousy or anger (Yates et al, 2012).

Power is an important factor in sexual abuse. Erooga and Masson (2006) built on the work of Finkelhor and Browne (1985) to explain how a child’s early powerlessness during their own abuse can lead to them needing to dominate others.

Family histories and backgrounds can have an impact on the sexual behaviour of children; especially when developmentally normal sexual behaviour was not understood by carers.

Children’s development and experiences

Children who sexually abuse others are likely to:

• Have poor self regulation and coping skills
• Experience social anxiety and a sense of social inadequacy
• Have poorly internalised rules for social behaviour
• Possess a poorly developed or primitive sense of morality
• Lack secure and confident attachments to others
• Exercise limited self-control, and act out their emotional experiences through negative or otherwise inappropriate behaviour
• Have little insight into the feelings and needs of others and, indeed, their own mental states • place their own needs and feelings ahead of the needs and feelings of others
• Exhibit a poorly defined sense of personal boundaries
• Have developed strong and not easily corrected cognitive distortions about others, themselves, and the world they share
• Have deficits in social skills and in social competence overall (Rich, 2011).

The stages of normal sexual behaviour

Infancy from 0 – 4 years

Even at this stage, sexual behaviour is beginning to emerge through actions like:

• Kissing and hugging
• Showing curiosity about private body parts
• Talking about private body parts and using words like poo, willy and bum.
• Playing “house” or “doctors and nurses” type games with other children.
• Touching, rubbing or showing off their genitals or masturbating as a comforting habit.

Young children from 5 to 9 years

As children get a little older they become more aware of the need for privacy while also:

• Kissing and hugging
• Showing curiosity about private body parts but respecting privacy.
• Talking about private body parts and sometimes showing them off.
• Using swear and sex words they’ve heard other people say.

Pre-adolescents from 10 to 12 years

Children are getting more curious about sex and sexual behaviour through:

• Kissing, hugging and “dating” other children
• Being interested in other people’s body parts and the changes that happen in puberty.
• Asking about relationships and sexual behaviour.
• Looking for information about sex, this might lead to finding online porn.
• Masturbating in private.

Adolescents from 13 to 16 years

As puberty kicks in, sexual behaviour becomes more privates with:

• Dating and forming longer lasting relationships
• Being interested in and asking questions about body parts, relationships and sexuality.
• Using sexual language and talking about sex with friends.
• Looking for sexual pictures or online porn.
• Masturbating in private and experimenting sexually with the same age group.

Questions for professionals to ask themselves

• Is one of the children older than the other? Is the age difference significant? Or is one pre-pubescent and the other isn’t?
• Does one child have power over the other e.g. is one disabled?
• Has the sexual partner attempted to secure secrecy beyond what might be considered usual in a teenage relationship?
• Are all parties consenting to the sexual activity?

Further indicators of risk or harm are included in the Kent and Medway risk assessment tool for sexually active young people.

What to do  

The Kent and Medway risk assessment tool for sexually active young people provides a framework for assessing the risk of harm to sexually active young people. The assessment tool is intended to inform the judgement as to where the sum of certain behaviours and their context falls within the continuum from sexual exploration to seriously harmful behaviour.

Where it is assessed that the sexual activity is harmful the professional should continue to make arrangements for the young person to receive confidential advice and support e.g. emergency contraception and referral to other agencies as required.

In all such cases there should be an agreement with the young person to establish means by which the harm can be reduced. The circumstances of the case must then be regularly reviewed using the risk assessment tool in conjunction with the young person.

If concerns persist consideration for consultation with children’s social services should be made. Proportional information can also be shared including the young person’s name in order to check if they are known to children’s social services without this being treated as a referral.

When there is suspicion or an allegation of a child or young person displaying serious sexually harmful behaviour likely to cause significant harm, or likely to be involved in sexually harmful behaviour resulting in significant harm or being a victim of sexually harmful behaviour by another child, it should be immediately referred to children’s social care and the police where there is a potential crime.

NSPCC

If you're unsure whether a behaviour is healthy, the NSPCC Hackett’s Continuum of sexualised behaviour is a helpful, easy to use traffic light tool. The traffic light system is used to describe typical (green) sexual behaviours, problematic (amber) sexual behaviours and unhealthy (red) sexual behaviours. The tool suggests what kind of attention and response you should give to each type of behaviour. And it suggests what kind of help might be necessary to ensure the child's safety. The tool can be used by parents and professionals.

LADO (Local authority designated officer)

Where there is a breach of trust then referral must be made to the LADO (Local authority designated officer).

This guidance should be read in conjunction with the Kent and Medway Safeguarding Procedures. Factsheet made in reference to the NSPCC materials on harmful sexual behaviour.